I can't believe the summer is nearly over!! Where the heck did it go?? My biggest regret is not doing more with my family and especially the kids. I had such grand ideas, but:

• when it was HOT the baby hated taking walks in the stroller and I didn't want to have to carry her to go for walks.....not to mention it was HOT;
• when it rained we always ended up doing chores or I felt like I was constantly feeding the baby
• i didnt want to camp with the baby
• i couldnt' really take any days off once my maternity leave was done because I didn't really have any personal time
• we had no money
• when i did have time everyone else had other plans
• i have a hard time getting my shit together
• i get impatient with the older girls when i feel overwhelmed by baby stuff.

Speaking of which I did realize that I could never be a decent mom at this point in my life, to a new baby, if I didn't have my oldest child. She is honestly like a second mom. Not that I make her care for the baby all that much, but when she does she is a natural. I think she is the second fave person of baby...after me natch. She helps me keep my sanity. A. I feel like I need to set a good parenting example for patience, calm, understanding, etc. for the two older girls because this is going to be their biggest look into parenting for their own future kids; and B. When I just can't cope I can have 13 take baby and get a few minutes. I can't do that with H.

I am looking forward to the kids going back to school only because I know they will be experiencing enriching activities and be back in contact with all of their friends in person - not on club penguin, email, or the phone. Otherwise I dread the chaotic mornings....now that I have the baby and am trying to balance my getting ready against whatever her needs are....and adding whatever needs 10 and 13 have as well...then getting them to school.... and the baby to daycare...and me to work....aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! I know I'll have to start getting up at 5:00 a.m. Before the baby I could get up at 7 or 7:15. UGH!

Then at night - imagine!! I get home at 6:00 - feed the baby, clean up the dishes from the morning, make dinner, probably run to the store, clean up after dinner, intermittently attempt to help them with their homework, look through school papers, make decisions about activities and friends/playdates, try to be interested in H's day, feed the baby, do the laundry, talk about bills w/H or whatever comes up, try to spend some amount of direct quality time with 10 and 13, try to get them to bed by 9-ish, feed the baby, ..... OHMYGOSH - my hearts racing just thinking about all of that. How do you fit that all into one evening and do it 5 times per week?

Laundry will have to wait lol. I've already decided that Wednesdays will be fend for yourself meal nights. Saturdays are going to have to include a cooking lesson because I'm going to need the girls to take on a dinner night.